Recovery mode

Oh, my.

Sunday was one of the fullest, most incredible days I have experienced.  The send-off that Central gave me was phenomenal, and I am not even close to recuperated from it yet.  Lots of tears, lots and lots of laughter, tons of hugs and a whole slew of gifts and cards that Julie and I are planning to work through in the next couple days.  Many, many thanks to all those who had a part in that day.  Especially I am grateful to the staff at Central, not only for their Broadway-quality production of "Goin' on a Bear Hunt" complete with bear poo (it was delicious) and silly string and an "OSHA Approved Tree Stand" -- but also for all the many, many tiny and massive things they did to make that day happen.  I could go on and on naming individuals -- but I won't.  Know that you have made a huge impact in my heart.

So I'm still processing.

One of the questions that still rambles around in my mind is whether I could have taken the trike down the altar steps during the staff song.  Here's a pic of me debating the options:

Sabbath

Somebody pointed out to me recently that you can't mess with God's commands, including the sabbath command.  So, to put it differently, if you don't take a rest, God will give you a rest, and most often that means you're going to get sick.

Have you experienced this?  I certainly have.  In fact, at the moment I am feeling the first thrilling touches of a brand new cold.  Ick.  I know how this goes -- I can take a rest within the next couple days and get enough sleep (that's been the struggle lately, to be honest) or I can get way sicker, and take involuntary time to be sick.

God's law is not some arbitrary thing that God occasionally enforces.  Rather, God's law functions much more like the law of gravity.  If you choose to walk off tall buildings, it's up to you.  God gave you the commands so that you might live in cooperation with the way he's designed the universe to work, rather than fighting against him all the time.

(Note to Lutheran theologians in the crowd:  I know that this is not the primary function of the law, but it is certainly one way the law works.  And I am not talking about a "third use" argument here -- this is strictly second use stuff, saying that God has set the universe up to work according to certain principles and our lives will be a lot better -- within the church and within society -- if we structure ourselves according to God's basic commands.  So a day of rest is important for everybody.)

Duh.

Leftovers

Do you like leftovers?  Sometimes I do.  I realize this may offend many of you, but I love cold meatloaf.  Or cold pizza.  Under the right circumstances, bits of cold meat that came off the grill yesterday or the day before can be delectable.

But sometimes leftovers are a sad disappointment.  When you open the fridge and stand there looking, and it all looks like wilted lettuce.  If presentation is important when it comes to food, sometimes leftovers just don't make the cut.

I think that's how most of us treat the idea of "sabbath."  It's an old fashioned word, I realize, but it just means "rest."  We're called, even commanded, even created, to make rest an integral part of our schedules.  Recently I've run across a couple teachers who have pointed out that while God works and then rests (though it's arguable that there was rest going on before Genesis 1:1), humans are created and immediately move into the sabbath day (day 7 of creation) and then -- and only then -- move into a week of work.

So we work from our rest, more than we rest from our work.

But most of us, I suspect, handle the sabbath commandment like leftovers.  If we happen to have a week that's not too busy, we might get some rest (or not).  If we have a day with nothing on the schedule, we try hard to catch up on our sabbath discipline.  What's with that??  Leftovers.

I've been trying hard lately to schedule sabbath days.  It's a little tricky because I'm 1) trying to be intentional about spending my last few days -- now down to my last week -- at Central well.  Lots of good conversations, lots of good work, lots of things I want and need to do well.  All this militates against a discipline of sabbath.  At the same time, I'm 2) crazy excited to start a new job at Calvary, so when opportunities come up to meet with people or to provide input into critical decisions that will impact how we move forward in this new position, I'm incredibly eager to be a part of those things.  Mostly I've been putting things off until after March 16th, my official start date at Calvary, but sometimes things come up and I want to be in on the conversation.  So that militates against sabbath. At the same time, I'm 3) getting our house ready to go on the market (the listing goes up today, hopefully) and so Julie and I (mostly Julie, to be honest, she's amazing) have been cleaning and rearranging and painting and staging like crazy.  And at the same time I'm 4) all too eager to start looking for a house in the Cities that will be a perfect place for us to live and within easy reach of Calvary and all that, but so far we've put a lot of that off, and at the same time I'm 5) trying to fit in all the normal day-to-day stuff like doctor's and dentist's appointments, oil changes, paying bills, getting taxes ready to file, blowing snow out of the driveway, etc.

So I really don't have time for a sabbath day.

And if I continue to live that way, I experience the consequences.  Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap, right?  So I'm reaping that fuzzy, unrested thinking that so often gets me in trouble.  I'm reaping a little edge to my temper.  I'm reaping forgetfulness about important details.  I'm reaping a sense of frustration and futility.

Today, for at least a few hours, I will rest.  There are things I need to do today and I would like to put them off but some of them, at least, rise to the level of "sheep falling into a pit" items (see Matthew 12).  (I think blowing snow out of the driveway sometimes is like pulling your sheep out of a pit.  If this doesn't make sense, don't worry about it.  Chalk it up to my fuzzy thinking, or yours.)  But for the last hour and a half, I have been resting, reading my Bible, sitting with a cup of coffee and watching the shadows move across the gloriously beautiful snow on the yard and the trees.  It's quiet.  It's peaceful.  And I can sense the Spirit of God regenerating and restoring my soul.  I may not get a full sabbath day -- we'll see how close I can get -- but a little healing, a little restoration, sure beats none at all.

How do you handle sabbath?

Reading the Bible

LOVE this perspective -- I think this blogger has gotten a glimpse of why it's so hard for Americans to read the Bible well.  Take a few minutes and read through this short piece -- and then think about it.  Wow!

Apologies!

No posts in quite some time!  Sorry, especially to those of you who spent the last week in the frozen north country.  Julie and I were visiting friends near Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and I stayed off the internet (including email) the entire time.  And off my phone.  It was wonderful.  So I was faced with difficult decisions each day like, should I lay on the beach or walk into town for a cup of coffee?  (Coffee usually won out, which will come as no surprise to those of you who know me.)

Also no surprise to those who know me will be the fact that out of that week, I had some great conversations about the church, mission, and how to reach various cultures with the good news of Jesus.  I also did some interesting reading that will no doubt make it onto this blog very soon.

For the moment let me recommend the book Permanent Revolution by Alan Hirsch and Tim Catchim.  I'm only about a third of the way through it but if you're involved in church leadership in any way, this is going to be an important read for you.  It's thick slogging with lots of heady language and abstract concepts, but stick with it and you'll find your thoughts about church leadership stretched.  After you order the book but before it arrives (assuming you're not like all those people by the pool with digital devices where they can order a book and then read it within a few minutes -- that is so wrong) spend a few hours reading and studying Ephesians 4.  That's the chapter that this tome lasers in on.

Details and posters

Not surprisingly, life has gotten crazy busy with a ton of details lately.  Monday I submitted my letter of resignation to Central.  It was mailed and emailed to the congregation on Wednesday.  I have been so blessed by dozens of conversations this week with people who want to both express their grief at our leaving Central and who want to wish me well and share their excitement for my new position at Calvary.  What a gift!

We have been prepping our house to sell -- new carpet, new paint, patching up nail holes and generally fixing all those detail things that needed fixing but didn't get done until it was time to make the house look good for someone else.  And, like most people, we look at the old house and think, "Gee, I don't really want to leave here!"  It's been a great house, of course.  All through this process I've felt a little like Abraham being told to go, but not where (exactly) to go.  It must have been hard for that old man to leave his familiar surroundings and his people behind, too.  Who knows?  Maybe God asked Bert and Mike and Sam to go as well, and they all chickened out.  We never heard their stories.

I remember a poster that hung on the wall in a student lounge during college.  It said, "The secret of life is this: To be ready at any moment to release all that you are in order to achieve all that you may become."  You've got to be a little careful with a statement like that, because taken to extremes it can mean that you keep throwing away good things in hopes that the next shiny object will be better.  That's horrible.  But with tenacity and discernment being your default position, it's important to be willing to let go of good things in order to grasp best things.

That's the kind of God we serve.

Letter of call!

Calvary Lutheran Church in Golden Valley voted today to call me as their senior pastor.  I'm sure I'll be processing this one for a while -- this is a major transition for me in my role as a pastor, and will be a significant transition for my family.  But at the moment it is exciting and humbling and more than a little overwhelming!

For the last several weeks I've found myself looking around at Central and being so, so grateful for the people, relationships, experiences, events, and ministries that I've been blessed with there.  The staff team, pastorate leaders, the Alpha team from way back when, and so much more -- these are key ways God has shaped and formed me over the last decade.  I think about how much of what I bring to the table as a leader that has been deposited into my life through this congregation.  What do I have that I have not been given?  Nothing, it turns out.  So I am blessed.

And those blessings, those relationships, create a powerful sense of grief as I think about leaving Central.  Yet I am also so excited, so very excited, to take on the role of senior pastor at Calvary.  I have immense respect for Calvary's history and identity as an evangelical Lutheran congregation.  What a great church!  We've met so many outstanding people who are key leaders at Calvary.  The passion and eagerness I've seen about about moving forward -- even if that means getting uncomfortable -- is amazing.  The people of Calvary seem ready and willing to do whatever Jesus calls them to do.  It's stunning to think of the plans God might have for a congregation like this!

As I said, I'm quite sure I'll be pondering this call for a long time to come.  Right now there are some logistics that need to be attended to -- submitting letters of resignation and signing acceptance forms, getting things filed in triplicate and planning out timelines.  God is faithful, even in the bureaucratic details.  As a very good friend of mine texted me tonight, "so we cling to Jesus."  AMEN!

Discerning your call

I had the privilege last night of speaking to 9th and 10th grade students and their parents for a Confirmation Parents Night.  We do this about once a month, and I have come to love these evenings.  There's a dedicated group of parents who come to be with their sons and daughters, to hear a word that applies to them and their families, and to consider how best to partner with the church in passing the gift of faith on to these young men and women.

Last night we talked about discerning your call from God.  It seemed like an appropriate topic, given the discernment process that I'm going through with Calvary Lutheran and their upcoming vote this Sunday to decide whether to call me as senior pastor.  I told the story of how I was called from Williston, North Dakota to Central -- another call that I had not been seeking, but one that definitely came from God.

We talked about the many diverse ways that biblical characters were called by God.  Moses had a burning bush.  David was anointed by Samuel when all his older brothers had been passed over.  Mary received a visit from an angel.  Joseph had a dream.  Isaiah saw a vision of God.  Amos was among the shepherds.  Ezekiel was among the exiles on the banks of a river in Babylon.  There is no one way to hear God's call.

For younger people, as we talked we established that there are a few things to do that will put you in a place to hear God's call.  First, get to know Jesus.  Get to know him well.  Read and reread the gospels.  Dig into Jesus.  Then, as you continue reading, ask, "Who am I?"  Who do I find myself to be in these stories?  Do I identify with Peter?  John?  Mary Magdalene?  Mary of Bethany?  Who am I?  What do I learn about myself here?  What is true of me?

Once you get to know Jesus, start trying things.   Young people need to try lots of things.  I have to confess that I thoroughly enjoyed some of the surprised looks when I started to say last night that I was not always a pastor.  I worked as a janitor, both in a health clinic and in a church, among other places.  I washed dishes.  I served as a footman for a man whose business was running a team of horses and a coach shuttling guests from the parking lot to the wedding.  I stocked shelves at Target.  I farmed.  You have to try lots of things.  In some of those jobs you'll discover what you're definitely not called to do.  In others you'll find God blessing your efforts and giving you great joy.

Pursue those things.  Dig into them and see what doors God opens.  Too many young people feel a great sense of pressure to figure out a career too early.  And too many adults identify their career with their calling.  It's not always so.  God gives some of us jobs in order to fund our calling, which is totally separate from our jobs.  You have to recognize when that's the case.

Discerning calling is different for those of us who are a little older.  After the students left the room, the parents and I talked about what it's like to discern calling as middle-aged people.  I cited Terry Walling, who told me, "Jeff, you've come to the age when you no longer have to prove what you can do.  You can do lots of things.  No, the question now is what should you do?"  There are lots of things I can do that I will never seek to focus on.  Playing guitar and leading worship is a skill I have, but it's not where I'm primarily called.  Stripping floors and waxing them is something I can do, but I will not pursue it to discern my calling.  I'm capable of lots of things, but I'm called to just a few.  I am at an age when it's time to narrow down, to focus on the things I do best.

We ended the evening with a  couple difficult caveats.  I talked to the parents about how easy it is for us to confuse following Jesus with being middle class.  So often our dreams for our kids are just simply about them having stuff, about keeping up with the contented Joneses, about hoping they get good jobs and aren't miserable.  None of that is God's call on their lives.  The danger for us as parents is that we will yearn for their comfort when God wants their commitment.  We will advise them to choose contentedness when God wants their radical edge.  What happens when you dream of a college degree for your child and God has called them to a year or two of mission work?  Can you let go of your smaller ambitions for your child and let God take them beyond your dreams?

It's true for ourselves as well.  No matter what your age it's always tempting to pursue your own security rather than God's best plans for you.  Get away where it's quiet and let God speak into that.  Dig deep into the gospels and notice how Jesus called his disciples -- not telling them where they'd end up, but simply saying, "Come, follow me."  Are you willing?  If you have an idea what God is calling you to do, test it out.  Talk it out with friends who know Jesus and who know you.  Pray through it.  Fast from food or technology for a day or two.  Let your heart get humble and quiet before God and hear what he has to say.

If you do these things, I guarantee that the journey will not be dull.  God will lead you into places you may or may not have dreamed for yourself, but it will be far better than what you'd have chosen.  Too often we are willing to settle for a crust when he wants to give us a full meal.

Potential transitions

Most of you who read this blog know by now that I've been recommended for call to be senior pastor of Calvary Lutheran Church in Golden Valley, MN.  Calvary is a strong church with a long history of biblical teaching, dynamic mission and regional influence.  There are lots of parallels between Calvary and Central.  Both have deep Lutheran roots; both went through the difficult process of leaving the ELCA a few years ago.  (Calvary has remained an independent congregation, while Central affiliated with Lutheran Congregations in Mission for Christ.)  Calvary will vote on January 26th whether to extend that call to me.  You can learn more about Calvary and their process here.

This opportunity is tremendously exciting and deeply humbling for me.  I heard after the fact that my name had been submitted to Calvary's call committee.  I just laughed.  Why on earth, I wondered, would Calvary take me seriously?  In the months since that day I have often returned to a couple verses that seem entirely too appropriate.  First, from Amos, where the prophet talks about his call and says, "I was among the shepherds of Tekoa ..."  Later in the book of Amos, he replies to his challengers by saying, "I was no prophet, nor a prophet's son, but I was a herdsman and a dresser of sycamore figs ..." (Amos 7:14).  The other verse that has brought me back time and again is from 2 Samuel 7 where the Lord tells David, "I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, that you should be prince over my people Israel" (2 Samuel 7:8).  In the margin next to this verse I wrote the date in December when I heard that the call committee at Calvary would recommend me to the congregation to be their next senior pastor.

It's not that I am minimizing my gifts or what God has done through me.  That's false humility, and it's a lie that Satan tells us in order to keep us from wholehearted commitment to Jesus.  Like David, though, I know my limitations and my weaknesses.  Part of that comes from growing up in a family and in a community where we often exercised the ministry of humility on each other's behalf -- that is to say, we kept one another from growing overconfident.  Sometimes that is a brutal process, especially between siblings.  As I have read and reread the stories of David over the last few years, I've noticed how David surrounded himself with skilled people who could cover areas where he was weak.  David excelled at pulling in strong leaders, people who could implement plans, administrators and managers.  He was a warrior, a poet, and a visionary, and he needed practical people around him who could put his plans firmly on the ground.

These Old Testament verses are a good reminder to me of what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4 -- "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that this surpassing power belongs to God and not to us."    I've known too many Christian leaders who are consumed with a sense of their own importance and their own ambition.  It's critical to remember that the church and its mission belong to Jesus, not to us.  We serve according to his agenda and at his pleasure.

In practical terms, if Calvary votes on January 26th to call me, as seems likely, what will this mean?  It will mean the end of more than ten years of serving at Central, of course.  That is a heartbreak for me.  I was certainly not looking for ways to leave Central -- quite the contrary.  God has blessed us the last ten years in powerful ways, and I continue to be so excited about the work the Spirit is doing at Central, especially in pastorates but also in many other areas.  So we are not eager to leave Central but sense God's call to this new adventure, and we are confident if this is God's good plan for us, it is also part of God's good plan for Central.  So if the call comes, we will be moving into the western metro to be close to Calvary.  For the moment we are living with one foot in two worlds -- excited about the things God is doing at Calvary, amazed to meet some of the people in that congregation, and eager for opportunities there.  At the same time, we look around the friendships and partnerships we have been given at Central and feel keenly the grief of leaving all of this.  So we are a little bit, like Sam at the end of the Lord of the Rings, torn in two.

In all of this we trust ourselves to God.  He has made so clear in this process that he is in charge, that this is his process to control.  It feels a little like what it must have felt for Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 12 when God called them to go from their people, from their familiar surroundings, to go to a new land that he would show them.  So in the meantime, one foot in two places, we trust, we pray, we anticipate, we wait.

The self-made man

In America we love the story of the self-made man.  We love to hear about the guy who lifted himself up by his own bootstraps and went from rags to riches on his own power.

I believe God hates this story.

Read the Bible and see if you find anything like a self-made man.  On every page you will read how important it is to acknowledge God's sovereignty.  Frequently you will read about how many people have gone before us, laying foundations that provide stable platforms for our lives and achievements. Here and there you will read about how God redefines power.  Instead of seeking out the strongest, the fiercest, the most independent, God seems intent on using the lost, least, little, and broken.

If you want to follow Jesus, by definition you can't be a self-made person.  It's contradictory.  To follow Jesus you need to know him as Lord.  That takes the guts out of your self-made story.  You need to know him as Savior.  That eliminates the idea that you got here on your own steam.  You need to know him as Redeemer.  That eliminates the idea that you did it yourself.

I could go on and on.  So here's a question:  To what extent do you buy into the idealism of the self-made man?  Can you bring that to Jesus and confess it to him?